Last Dance
by cozyouknow
Summary: “Falling in love with your best friend is the sweetest form of suicide.” I whispered to him. He’s leaving me now, never to return again. I don't know if I can ever get through with this. Then, he whispered back. “And so, we die together.” sasusaku oneshot


**LAST DANCE**

REPOSTED AND EDITED from my previous account.

KOKORO means HEART in Nippon. Arigatou ne. Enjoy.

_**

* * *

AUTUMN: GRADESCHOOL**_

_It was autumn when everything started._

_Otou-san will come home today. Okaa-san said that Otou-san will bring me home a doll because I've been a good girl. So, I wasn't paying attention to Sensei. I was thinking of the possible names I'd give my doll._

_Christina would be good. Only, it sounded so Western. Or I could name her Saya. Nah, too short. Oh! I'd just call her Kokoro. Yes, Kokoro would be good. But doesn't it sound a little childish? I decided to look around so that I could ask someone. But, I just found a quiet and strange boy sitting beside me. He was facing the window on his left. I couldn't see his face. But I know I've never seen him before. Oh, whatever._

"_Ne," I called the boy sitting beside me. "Konnichiwa. Do you think Kokoro is a good name?" I waited for his answer. But it didn't come. He didn't seem to have heard me._

_I tried again. "Ne, ne," I prodded once more, a little louder this time. "Do you think Kokoro is a good name?" I squinted my eyes and pouted my lips. This boy was either stubborn or deaf. I put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it a little to get his attention. "Hey," I started once more. "Do you think--"_

"_No, it's a bad name, the worst I have ever heard." He jerked my hand away. He finally turned around to face me. He was handsome, just like the idols I always watch on our television. And he has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. "And you're noisy, baka." _

_Then, all I could see was his back._

_I shifted my attention to Sensei. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. I held my face with my hands. It was hot. I feel hot. Am I sick? I felt my forehead._

_At that point, all I could think of was just one name. What's his name?_

_

* * *

That afternoon, I was at my knees, begging Ino to come with me. My face almost touched the ground but she was still stubborn. "Onegai! I just want to know his name!" _

_She shooed me away. "Why should I come with you? You're already 10. You can do it alone." I rose up from my position and faced her. "But, but." I avoided her gaze. I feel hot again. Honestly, I think I have a fever. "I…I…am embarrassed."_

"_You are embarrassed??" Ino shouted while I cringed. She has a very loud voice. "Don't tell me that…" Her voice trailed away. "That?" I finally looked her in the eyes._

"_You like him?"_

"_S-suki?"_

_Suki…suki…_

_I like him?_

* * *

"_A-ano, Watashi no namae wa Haruno Sakura desu! Hajimemashite!"!_

_I kept my face down to hide the redness in my cheeks. Stop blushing, moron! My hands were sweating and shaking. Why do I feel panicky and sweaty and…and…nervous! My heart's beating so fast it's going to explode! I clutched my chest. God, help me!_

"_Eh?" he replied._

_Yes, he finally replied! To my happiness, I suddenly looked up and I saw him looking straight at me. Oops, wrong move. I feel more embarrassed and redder than before. I lowered my head again._

"_Hm." He sneered and started walking away. This was my only chance. I clasped my hands together and bowed before his retreating back. I pulled all the confidence I could muster. "I just want to know your name!" I shouted at him._

_Oh, kami._

_I saw him stopped. "My name?" he shouted back._

"_H-hai." Please, please, please._

_And then…_

"_Uchiha Sasuke." _

_With my frail, ten-year-old body, I collapsed to a half-kneeling position on the ground. I stared at his retreating figure._

"_Uchiha Sasuke."_

_**

* * *

SPRING OF 6**__**TH**__** GRADE**_

_It has already been two years since I started to like Sasuke. I will be graduating from elementary this year. But he remained stoic and oblivious to my uprising feelings. I have tried everything just to get his attention but unfortunately, all failed. _

_I sighed. When will I get my fairytale happily-ever-after ending with my Prince Charming?_

_Since I was thinking of him, I didn't notice where I was going and unconsciously bumped into someone. "Oww!" I fell down and hit the pavement. It was painful, dammit!_

"_This is your entire fault, Sasuke." I wondered aloud while massaging my painful butt. I struggled to stand up._

"_Oh, it's my fault?" I was finally on my feet when I heard Sasuke's voice. Am I just imagining things? I stared long and hard enough at the person I bumped into._

_Shit of all shits. _

_It was Sasuke._

_

* * *

I finally opened my eyes. Instead of angels singing my death song, I saw moving houses. They can't be moving, baka. I was the one moving. Actually, I was not walking but yes, I was practically moving. What the?_

_I realized that I was on Sasuke's back. I was about to fall and hit the pavement again, and die a second time around, when he spoke._

"_So you're awake now."_

"_H-Hai." I answered weakly. "A-arigatou." _

"_You're weird." he said._

"_That's mean!' I answered back._

_There was a brief silence between us after that. But it was better for me this way. I was nervous. My heart was beating so fast and so loud. Sasuke might even hear it._

"_Where is your house?" He asked me. I was startled by his question but found it impolite not to answer. "Turn right at the end of this street. My house is beside a large tree."_

_It was silence again for a few minutes. Come on, Sakura. Talk to him! It's your chance! I was mentally kicking myself already for being so quiet. I decided to strike up a conversation._

"_Aren't you supposed to be at home now? Your parents might worry." It was my turn to ask. I felt him stiffened, his whole body tensed. "It is already late and your house is far away."_

"_You're really stalking me, aren't you?"_

_I was speechless, gaping like a fish._

"_Ha-ha." He chuckled. "It's okay. They don't even know I exist."_

"_No! Don't think that way. I know your parents love you!" He was silent. "Let's not talk about it." His tone was cold and domineering. His family must be a sensitive topic for him. _

_I sighed. "Gomenasai." I muttered after speaking carelessly. But this was such a good opportunity to get close to him. I decided to ask. "Are you lonely?"_

"_What would you do if I am?"_

"_Then I'lll stay by your side. So you won't get lonely anymore."_

_There was dead air around us again. I bit my lips._

"_You're noisy." He replied after a few seconds._

"_Hey!" I protested. "You're really mean!" I pouted my lips and managed to say "Hmp!" To my surprise, he thanked me. _

"_What for?" I asked. He shrugged. I smiled despite the situation._

_I could already see the silhouette of my house beside the large tree. Even though I don't want to go home yet, I asked Sasuke to bring me down already. "Thanks." I smiled my sweetest smile. _

_I swear I saw him snicker so I thought it came out really bad. He managed a small wave before walking away._

"_Ne." I called out to him and he stopped in response. "Do you think Kokoro is a good name?"_

"_No," He called out. "It's still the worst name I've ever heard." He inserted his hands in his pockets and retreated in the shadows._

"_Sasuke…daisuki desu."_

_**

* * *

FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL**_

"_Sasuke? Why are you here?" It was the first day of high school for me. And I was surprised to see Sasuke sitting by the large tree beside our house._

"_Let's go to school together." _

_My world literally stopped when he said that._

_I smiled and nodded. "Hai!"_

_Since that first day, Sasuke and I became friends. _

_Until one day, he said that we should stay like this forever. I didn't know what to do then. I knew that very moment that I'd never be able to get my fairy tale ending with him. Friendship. Love. I weighed the two things. I decided to choose friendship. I threw all my feelings away for the sake of this friendship._

_I promised him that we would stay that way._

_**

* * *

SENIOR YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL**_

_I can't help it anymore. These past few days, everything was coming back. All the feelings that I have thrown away a long time ago. I don't know how to react. I don't know how to tell him. I can't just tell him that I love him. But if I don't do this now, I'm afraid I can't keep it any longer._

_Sasuke.__ I emailed him on my phone. My fingers were fidgeting._

_Hm.__ He replied._

_There is something that I must tell you.__ The air felt so cold and my hands began to sweat. My eyes began to water. Baka, Sakura!_

_What?_

_Daisuki desu.__ I sent it. It was enough._

_He never replied after that. And I continued to cry._

_**

* * *

DAYS AFTER**_

_Did you ever love me even more than friends?__ I emailed him again after days of feigning ignorance._

_He answered a No._

_Then let's stay as friends. Gomen._

_What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say? I love you, Sasuke. Ever since that day in autumn and you were just new. And yet, I promised. I promised you that I would stay as your best friend. I was just fooling myself this past years. I thought I could throw away all my feelings for you. But I realized, I can't._

_I was about to send that to him when my phone suddenly beeped. There was a message from him. __We'll be leaving this town already. After graduation, we'll be migrating to Tokyo. I'll be studying there. Do you want me to stay?_

_I didn't hesitate. __Yes, I want you to stay._

_**

* * *

TWO MONTHS LATER**_

We_ tried to save the friendship but all of our efforts failed. I decided to stay away from so I could move on. I need to move on for our friendship. Even if it hurts me._

"_Do you still want me to stay?" He asked it again. But now, I don't know anymore._

"_I…It's up to you." I answered hesitatingly._

"_You're the only reason why I'd stay here." It was a short answer but it nailed me. Above everything, I just wanted to be with him. I shouldn't be selfish. Sasuke needs me._

"_Please…" I slowly whispered. "Stay for me."_

_For the second time, I fooled myself into thinking that someday, everything would fall into place. That through friendship, I can have my fairytale ending._

_He was my first dance of love after all. _

_**

* * *

AUTUMN: HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION**_

_Around me, happy families were taking photographs, remembering memories. Students were tearfully saying their farewell to their friends. It was like a new chapter of their lives for them._

_But for me, at this very moment, I was closing the most important chapter of my life._

_I was facing Sasuke on the very same spot where I first asked his name. I couldn't control my tears. He was just there, standing and staring at me intently._

"_I wanted to let go now." I said between the sobs. "Of the friendship, of everything. I'm tired of getting hurt. I'm tired! I'm tired. I'm tired…" I covered my sobbing face with my hands. _

_With my frail, fifteen-year-old body, I collapsed to a half-kneeling position on the ground. _

_I felt him kneel beside me. He wiped my tears away. He closed the distance between us and kissed me on the forehead. _

"_If that is what you want. I won't stop you. I understand. Maybe, the love was hopeless after all. You have loved me all these years and yet, all I did was hurt you. I don't deserve you or our friendship, for that matter." He stopped talking for a moment. "I'll be leaving now. There's no reason for me to stay anymore."_

"_Falling in love with your best friend is the sweetest form of suicide." I whispered to him. I have just read this quote somewhere but whatever. He's leaving me now._

"_And so, we die together." He whispered back. As he said those words, he turned his back on me and started to walk away._

_This time, I didn't call him back. I just stared sadly at his retreating figure._

_But for the first time, he stopped himself. "I think," He called out to me. "Kokoro is a good name." _

_Yet, for the last time, he walked away, never to return again._

_And I cried harder._

_The wind was blowing my hair. Cherry blossom petals were falling all around me. I looked up at the sky._

"_Maybe." I whispered to the wind. "Kokoro is not a good name after all."_

_It was autumn when we performed the last dance._

_It was autumn when everything ended._


End file.
